Cheating is cheating. There's no hierarchy - only consequences. 💔

As a couples therapist, I see two common patterns again and again.
Both break partners in ways that aren’t always obvious.
Here are two clinical cases from practice — and what they taught me.

Case 1 — Physical Infidelity
• What I see: a partner has had a sexual/physical affair.
• The common pathway to repair: genuine remorse, clear accountability, consistent behavioural change, and sustained reconnection work.
• Why it sometimes heals: when the cheater truly regrets and is willing to do the hard, often long-term work — transparency, boundaries, therapy, re-establishing safety — couples can rebuild trust and begin afresh. It’s not guaranteed, but repair is possible when regret is real and followed by action.

Case 2 — Emotional Infidelity
• What I see: a partner seeks emotional warmth, understanding or intimacy outside the relationship — often because those needs were not met at home.
• Why it’s different: emotional cheating usually means someone has emotionally “checked out.” Even if they feel sorry later, recreating the original emotional attraction and investment is very difficult. Regret may follow, but reigniting the felt bond — the sense of being emotionally available and present for a partner — is often the hardest work I’ve seen couples face.
• What it signals: unmet needs in the relationship (emotional closeness, attunement, respect, or sexual/affectionate responsiveness) that weren’t communicated or repaired in time. So which is worse? I don’t rank them. Both betray trust and do deep damage. Physical and emotional infidelity wound different parts of the relationship — one breaks safety, the other breaks connection — but both can shatter a partner’s inner world.

A better conversation to have online: Instead of arguing “which hurts more,”
let’s ask:
• How do we prevent cheating?
• How do we notice the warning signs early?
• How do we communicate unmet needs before we look elsewhere?
• How do we repair — practically and emotionally — if a betrayal happens?

Practical takeaways (from my experience):
- Speak early, not late. Name small dissatisfactions before they compound.
- Create repair rituals. Short, consistent acts of care beat occasional grand gestures.
- Boundaries matter. Define what counts as crossing the line in your relationship — together.
-Get help sooner. Couple therapy reduces the chance of a “checked-out” partner drifting further.
- Differentiate remorse from change. Sorry is the start; sustained behavior change is the proof.

Cheating can be intentional or accidental — but the pain is real either way.  Let’s move the debate from “who was worse” to “how do we keep each other safe, seen, and wanted.” — Aashita Khanna, Couples Therapist